Lately, life has been so fast pace that sometime I think I forget to stop! I’m one of those people who loves to stay busy! I’ve always got to be doing a million things, be with someone or on some sort of adventure. While it can be very productive and I seem to accomplish a lot done in a day, when I crash, I crash.
Over the last 9 months, I’ve moved, started a new job (while juggling an old one I’d had for three years), quit both of those jobs, started a new one, have gained and lost relationships, attempted to stay in shape, explored new places, started serving at my church and currently find myself in a sea of all sorts of new things.
The thing is, life is always going to be CRAZY. And waiting for things to slow down is like waiting for snow in a desert. It just doesn’t happen (Okay- maybe sometimes but for the most part, it doesn’t happen) and that’s okay… we adapt and it becomes our new normal.
This past week I found out my parents are moving to a new place (3-4 hours away from me I might add), my dad took a new job, my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer and given 30 days to live, I was sick and in and out of work and so on and so forth…
See in the moment, I felt completely overwhelmed. It was easy to get distracted by the noises around me, the things I needed to do and list I needed to accomplish. I found myself almost doing more just so that I didn’t have to stop and think about anything because processing change isn’t always easy and the feelings aren’t always fun.
When Friday approached, I was worn out… It was almost like the joy had been sucked out of me and honestly, I had nothing left to give. I spent my lunch break walking in circles around my building, trying to get fresh air and trying to just breath.
By 4:30 pm, I had multiple invites to go out to get drinks, dinner, see a comedy show, etc… While I contemplated what to do, where to go, and how “wild” of a Friday I really wanted to have, I was hit by the realization that I had been trying to outrun having alone time because I didn’t want to deal with everything that was swarming me. Though it wasn’t easy, I told everyone I was taking a “me” night and went home.
If you’re still readying this, (I’m impressed) here is my point in all of this! By the time I got home, I was almost emotional. I had spent the whole week worried about everyone and everything else that I forgot to worry about myself…
I decided to go for a run to clear my head and enjoy the last hour of sunshine and it was almost an immediately sense of relief. As the sun was setting and my worship music was up loud, I couldn’t be distracted by anything else! The only person I could thinking about was me… Running is 85% mental and as I pushed myself… ran harder, faster and further, I felt blessed!
All the things I was worried about seemed so small in comparison to everything I had… I had begun to focus on all the negatives of the week that I forget to think about all the positives… like this beautiful planet I live on, the God who loves me and created it, the family I have, my boyfriend who’s one of my best friend, other quality friends, a place to call home, a job that I enjoy, freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want (even when I should be resting), and the ability to run! Running is one of things that brings me joy. It’s my happy place and I couldn’t imagine not being able to do it.
It’s easy to take things for granted and to get consumed by life but in this moment as I ran, I was reminded of how important it is to just STOP… to BREATH, and to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Alone time is fundamental… So I hope this weekend, each and everyone of you, has time to slip away and do whatever brings you joy… Serve yourself for a little while and be refilled because you can’t fill others until you are full… Enjoy the sunshine, read a book, paint something, take a spontaneous road trip, hike a mountain or go for a run…just do something that sparks life into you! Do something for yourself!